12-step work~25 min12-step
Step 1: an honest look
Look honestly at loss of control and unmanageability — the ground the rest of the steps stand on.
Twelve-step programs begin with honesty about the problem. A 2020 Cochrane review (Kelly and colleagues) found that structured 12-step facilitation — treatment that helps people get involved in AA — led to higher rates of continuous abstinence from alcohol than other established treatments such as CBT. Writing your story of loss of control makes it harder to bargain with later.
Step work is best done with a sponsor or mentor. This is a private place to prepare — share it with them when you're ready. Talks with a sponsor aren't legally confidential the way talks with a lawyer are. If something could carry legal consequences, keep it out of writing and get legal advice before you share the details. If this is about food or an eating disorder, leave out numbers — weights, calories, sizes or amounts.
Powerless: when I tried to control it
1. Times I tried to control it, stop, or set rules — and what happened
Only on weekends, a set budget, deleting the app, a deadline to quit, checking up on them or pouring it out… What happened to each rule?
2. Promises to myself or others that I couldn't keep
3. Lines I crossed that I swore I never would
A few words for each is enough.
4. How much of my time and thinking it took — planning, craving, hiding, recovering
Unmanageable: what it cost
5. Parts of my life it affected
Check any that apply
6. What it cost me — health, relationships, work, money, legal trouble, self-respect
7. How my life became unmanageable — including the ways that don't show from the outside
Accepting it
8. What 'powerless' means to me — and what it doesn't mean
9. Is there any relief in admitting this? What is it?
10. What I'm ready to do about it now