12-step work~10 minRepeat any time12-step
Step 4: resentment inventory
One entry per resentment: who, what happened, what it affected in you — and your part.
The classic Step 4 inventory lists each resentment in columns: who you resent, the cause, what it affected in you, and — the turning point — your own part. Writing them one at a time keeps it manageable and makes patterns easier to see with your sponsor.
Step work is best done with a sponsor or mentor. This is a private place to prepare — share it with them when you're ready.
1. Who or what I resent
2. What happened — the cause
3. What it affected in me
Check any that apply
4. My part — where did I act out of self-interest, dishonesty or fear?
This isn't about excusing what they did — it's about finding what's yours to change. For some people it's the opposite of selfishness: giving up their own needs, not speaking up, or trying to manage someone else. If this is about abuse or violence done to you, you had no part in that: skip this and talk with your sponsor or a therapist.
5. What this has in common with other resentments I've written