Thoughts & feelings~12 minREBTSMART Recovery–style
ABC: change the belief, change the feeling
Map a hard moment as Activating event → Belief → Consequence, then dispute the belief doing the damage.
The ABC model comes from Albert Ellis's rational emotive behavior therapy and is a core SMART Recovery tool. It's less the event that upsets us than the demands we place on it — 'must', 'should', 'I can't stand it'. Disputing those demands softens both the feeling and the urge.
1. A — Activating event: what happened
2. B — Beliefs: what I told myself about it
Look for demands ('they must', 'I should'), awfulizing ('this is the worst'), 'I can't stand it', and putting myself or others down.
3. C — Consequences: how I felt, and what I did or wanted to do
4. D — Dispute: Is the belief true? Is it helpful? Where is it written that it must be this way? Have I gotten through things like this before?
5. E — Effective new belief: a more flexible way to see it
"I'd prefer they respected me, but I can handle it when they don't."
6. How I feel, and what I'll do, with the new belief