My adult son says he doesn't have a problem. Everyone else can see it.
From the RecoveryHome team. We write some questions from situations people often ask us about, and answer them with general information from public health sources. Been through this yourself? Your answer could help the next person who finds this page. How we write team posts
RH
RecoveryHome team Team
asked 3 months ago
Parents often describe an adult child who has moved back home, is clearly using, and gets angry whenever it comes up. How do you stay connected without pretending everything is fine?
RH
RecoveryHome team Team
answered 7 days ago · general information, not medical advice
Big confrontations tend to harden the "no." Approaches that keep the relationship while not protecting the addiction usually work better.
- Learn about CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), an evidence-based approach that teaches families to reward sober time, stop shielding the person from consequences, and keep the invitation to help open. It has good research support for helping loved ones enter treatment.
- Decide boundaries when you're calm. Say them once and hold them kindly. A boundary is what you will do ("I won't give you cash"), not a threat about what they must do.
- Get support for yourself now. A counselor who works with families, or a support group for families of people with addiction, can help you stay steady.
- Keep the door visibly open. "I love you too much to pretend this is fine, and the day you want help, I'll drive you" is the kind of line people remember later.
If you ever see signs of overdose risk, keep naloxone in the house.
Read more: Helping someone who says no · How to talk to a loved one about addiction
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